How in the Heck Could Elin Nordegren be "blindsided" by Tiger's Affairs? He's a BILLIONAIRE, What Did She Expect?

How in the Heck Could Elin Nordegren be "blindsided" by Tiger's Affairs? He's a BILLIONAIRE, What Did She Expect?

Throw Another Drink B*tch!! Basketball Wives Pt.2

Well my land...that's what my grandmother used to say when something has warranted what we would say OMG for. The response to part one of this has been absolutely jaw dropping, you guys really have strong opinions about these Basketball Wives and I'm glad that you can appreciate my views.

Let's get to the getting:

Royce Reed
While Royce has been the butt of numerous jokes about the Basketball Wives and all of the remaining cast members ganged up on her early on due to her raunchy dance moves at an event on Miami Beach, I like her. Royce has an innocence about her that is actually quite refreshing. She is just Royce, without all of the pretentiousness that the other wives display. She hasn't learned to be bitter about the new opportunities that her NBA "baby mama" check affords her, she isn't hung up on relationship woes, infidelity or trying to lock down a ball player, and she doesn't appear to be jaded overall. It isn't clear if Royce was ever a girlfriend to Dwight Howard or just a fun fling, but either way she seems to have benefited from the exchange. Royce is a surprising alternative to the other wives since she entered into the game as as a cheerleader, or as cast mate Gloria terms it, as "the enemy." I don't know that she was really the enemy since it is my understanding many of the ball players pursue the cheerleaders, and what cheerleader is going to turn down the chance to date an NBA player? All of the Basketball Wives could learn a bit from Royce about enjoying the ride. Their lives are forever altered from having the experience of being in one of the highly coveted positions of a basketball wife.

Gloria Govan
Did you ever hear the saying "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?" Well, Gloria is in a glass house and her stone throwing may one day shatter her own home. This chick has a terrible disposition. I really think that it was a mistake for her to do the show. It appears that she wants to distance herself from the negativity of the other wives (rightfully so) but her way of going about it is nasty in nature. She is naively judgemental, her lack of experience leaves her without compassion or understanding, and she just has an ugly demeanor and a lurking sneakiness about her. Her unfounded disdain for Royce further confirms her clueless-ness about the reality of the NBA wives and the culture it breeds. I sincerely HOPE that her fiance, Matt Barnes actually follows thru to marry her, that he NEVER gets caught cheating, and that she lives "happily ever after" because if any one of those things goes wrong...Media Takeout will blast her a**.

Suzie Ketchan
Suzie was by far the least interesting, least memorable and most blah of the Basketball Wives. I didn't really get that she was a cast member until a few episodes into the series. I thought that she was just a sideline instigator who imparts the worst relationship advice imaginable. Suzie, who has two children with the now retired Michael Olowokondi, spent a decade with the ball player, so she is no stranger to the daily happenings of basketball wives' lifestyles. Unfortunately for Suzie, it left her in the same despair of the lonely, purposeless and scorned of the has-been ex-girlfriends. Although Suzie externally emits a vibrant "party girl" persona, her sharp words slice finely revealing a woman still suffering from a broken heart that needs mending.

In summary:
There are literally thousands of women around the world who aspire to land an NBA basketball player; as a jump-off, girlfriend, or wife. They are waiting in every city, they are at every game, they find out team hotels, nightlife party spots and schedule details. These women are unstoppable and they will do virtually anything to catch the attention of a professional ball player.

Next there are the players themselves who are treated like royalty and have a true sense of entitlement because they almost always do get what they want. The lifestyle is an energy field in itself that most people will never experience nor understand. The money, the fame, the women, the POWER is beyond comprehension to the average person including the player himself. So, it is his human nature to test the boundaries and stretch the limits of possibilities. These men will pursue whatever they have an inkling of an idea about wanting to experience. Part of having an abundance of wealth, fame, prestige and power is having the ability to share it, persuade others with it, and to conquer (by obtaining) anything that you want. So I ask, who is going to tell them that they can't do all of these things?

I was reminded, after having happy hour with a friend who was in a 10 year relationship with a now retired NBA player and sharing one child with him, that some of the girlfriends do have dreams of a "traditional" relationship and are blindsided by the incessant infidelities, loneliness of often being home alone, and the unspoken acceptability of affairs. However, it is my belief that any woman entering into a relationship with a professional ball player should openly and realistically discuss her terms of agreement. Being mindful that everything is not forever, decide what she intends to gain (money, social status, business opportunities, life-long companionship, or other) from the relationship, set forth with those goals clearly in mind and enjoy the journey. Love, unfortunately is just a by-product of it all. Love is usually why the baller chooses to label her wife or girlfriend...the details are why he keeps it that way. Like Evelyn, if it gets to be unbearable...LEAVE.

Until next season...
Or maybe the reunion show...
I'm leaving the Basketball Wives alone...

Throw Another Drink B*tch!!! Basketball Wives Pt.1

I said that I would revisit this Basketball Wives saga again...and I know (cause yall keep reminding me) that the first season has already ended. So without further ado, here goes...

Shaunie O'Neil
Hats off to Shaunie for doing her thing. She was the Executive Producer of Vh1's hit show Basketball Wives and is finding her own way after the split from Shaq. Even after alleged threats from Shaq to shut down the entire project and death threats according to TMZ, Shaunie managed to get on with the business of Basketball Wives. Although I'm still not clear on what the desired outcome of the show was, other than the obvious...MONEY, Shaunie stood in the limelight as being by far the classiest, most well-adjusted of the ladies. In the series finale we got a glimpse of the pain that she is continuing to deal with as a result of her failed marriage to Shaquille O'Neal but she handled herself as a woman who is expanding as opposed to a woman who hates the world. You go, Shaunie!!!

Jennifer Williams
Clearly, Jennifer and husband Eric Williams are a work-in-progress. Jennifer, who comes from an upscale family structure in a respectable community in NJ, is one of only two Basketball Wives who is actively married. Her marriage, like most in professional basketball has sustained infidelity. My issue with Jennifer is that she is constantly discussing her marriage with women who are no longer married, have never been married, and are extremely bitter. I recently heard a quote from a wife to a husband that cheated, "life is long and you are my man." If Jennifer is planning to stay in the relationship (which she says that she is) then she has to get away from those angry ex-basketball wives and get her own life poppin'. All of that whining about Eric's cheating, confronting jump-off's, and getting advice from the scorned & lonely is a recipe for disaster. There is hope for Jennifer and Eric if she wants it. Investing time into self-development, growing her foundation Project Save the World, and creating terms of livable agreement with her husband could potentially saver her marriage and her sanity. Whatever the outcome of her marriage, Jennifer has the makings of a recognized, professional African American woman.

Evelyn Lozada
Can we say "Angry B*tch?" Wow! Things did not work out according to plans for Evelyn and she is emanating a green fog of negative energy that penetrated the TV screen. Because I also have been hurt in past relationships, I can honestly say that I am sorry for the pain that any woman has endured for the sake of "love" and that I empathize with Evelyn. But it's over!!! That chapter has concluded and life is happening all around every moment of everyday. Evelyn seems to be re-living the infidelities, the loss, and the hurt on a daily basis. Sadly, it doesn't seem as if she has ever gotten over her breakup or never having exchanged wedding vows with Antoine Walker but...WOW! Her exterior beauty is veiled by her down-talking Royce, her excessive drinking (which may have been creative editing), and her constant negative references to men. Not to mention, all of the talk about status, class, and reputation only for her to be exposed in the buff all over the Internet. Evelyn still has a roughness about her, like an unrefined gemstone that has been tossed into the jewelry box with the finest of diamonds. (Throwing drinks is such "low hanging fruit" behavior and will only gain the adorations of bottom dwellers.) She has the potential without the polishing. It's never to late to find purpose, fulfillment and happiness...I wish all these things to her.

To be continued...

Will the Real Basketball Wives Please Stand Up

Okay, so I was trying to avoid chiming in on the Vh1 Basketball Wives saga but since I am constantly being asked my opinion about it here goes my overview. Stay tuned for my detailed breakdowns:

I've been watching the show since it first aired on April 19th. In the beginning I had the misconception that the show would chronicle the lives of women who are currently married to NBA players and that we would get a glimpse into the extravagant lives of these otherwise unknown women. What Vh1 did however, is cast a couple of currently married basketball wives, a couple of ex-basketball wives, and a wild basketball baby mama.

Interestingly, the cast of women are uniquely different enough to make the show worth tuning in for but most have one common thread: they are scorned and bitter!!!

Unfortunately, it almost goes without saying that men in positions of power, with loads of cash, and those fortunate enough to also have fame are somehow exempt from monogamy. It goes back as far in history as you want to dig, men who are of a certain status are often excluded from the traditional rules of marriage and infidelity is often overlooked. Does this make cheating acceptable? Absolutely not! However, what should be noted is that affording the luxuries of mansions, jewels, private jets, yachts, year-round vacations, endless shopping sprees, butler/maid service, and the most exquisite of everything, also brings a plethora of scallywags who will stop at virtually nothing to command the attention of a wealthy man.

When young men enter into the NBA they have to attend "Rookie Camp" to teach them how to deal with their new found riches: the begging family members, the obscure business ventures, the press, the women, etc. All of this is to prepare them for the NBA lifestyle. Sadly, there is no such Basketball Wives camp where women can learn the ropes of being married to ball players.

So, while I wanted to scream at the TV screen for these women to stop all their damn whining I compassionately emphasize with them, understanding that they were likely not prepared for the lifestyle of Basketball Wives. The idea of finding a professional ball player who is completely faithful is truly like finding a needle in a haystack. I can't say with certainty that they all cheat but with well documented cases, I can affirm that the likelihood is that the majority do.

With that stated, the cast of Vh1's Basketball Wives and any woman who is entering into a formal relationship with a man of power, fame, or wealth should clearly define her expectations for the union. Decide what really matters in the relationship...love, respect, honor, financial stability, freedom, monogamy, attentiveness, space, material possessions, etc. Figuring out her personal passions and what really drives her to feel purposeful and fulfilled will empower her to establish herself as an individual rather than being defined as "so-and-so's" wife.

To be continued.

Vajazzling Out, Clitter In!

Since When Did Women Have to Start Adorning Her Jewels??? Really???

Vajazzling Out, Clitter In!

Your Husband Cheated And Its All Your Fault Pt. 2

Your Husband Cheated And Its All Your Fault Pt. 2

Your Husband Cheated And Its All Your Fault Pt. 1

Your Husband Cheated And Its All Your Fault Pt. 1